I often get questions from people who are concerned for their adult or young adult children because it seems they are rejecting or drifting away from the faith. As a parent myself, I can certainly understand the heart behind these questions. As it turns out, many years ago, I actually came to a point where I rejected the faith I now live by, which gives me a different perspective that I have found helpful when it comes to encouraging other parents. With that in mind, I want to share my own experience and insight in hopes of encouraging you because, looking back, I can honestly say that coming to that point where I rejected the faith I now know to be true was an integral part of the journey that led me to be able to trust in the Father today. 

When I was younger, I was very hurt by some hypocrisy I saw among the body of believers, and so I rejected YHWH in my rejection of them. But in reality, my soul was longing, seeking truth and a relationship with my Heavenly Father. He saw my heart and He understood what I was doing far better than I did. He allowed me to be angry and upset and even encouraged me to question Him. In doing so, I learned to separate God from His people, which helped me to form a direct relationship with Him.  I can’t imagine not having that strength of relationship, and I absolutely wouldn’t be where I am today if not for the blessing of those years of struggling to find my way – because what I was really doing was struggling to find, and learn to trust, Him..

Each of us is on our own faith journey. I pray that the way I have lived out my faith will encourage and help my children, but they have to build their own foundation, and in doing so their own relationship with the Father.  What I mean by that is that a child can’t live in their parent’s house forever. They have to get out and build their own home. It is the same with our faith. Your children can’t live off of your faith and understanding. They must question, clear the slate in many ways, and begin from the foundation by building their own relationship with the Father. Often, this begins with testing to see what all is out there. Who do other people worship? How do other faiths live? What do I know that has proven true and what do I need to test for myself as an adult to ensure it really is?

There is an abiding peace and wisdom you can lean into as you watch your children work on that foundation, but you have to trust in Him and know that His hand has not left them. Even when it seems they are off the path, He knows the best-remembered lessons are the ones in which He allows us to see why we should trust in Him. Remember after a while, when a child persistently tries to touch a hot stove, a wise parent knows that letting them touch it will yield far better results than spending years repetitively telling them not to.

My great comfort is this: I am not my child’s only parent and God has no grandchildren – we are all His children. He loves them even more than we do. Trust is the muscle of faith and when our children come into these seasons, it is a season of growing that muscle not only in them but growing it further in us. Just as you have been able to trust Him in your life, you can trust Him in theirs.

The most important thing is to love them. While they take their journey, love them. Be a compassionate ear, a source of wise advice *should they seek it*, and a constant refuge whenever you see them coming down the road. Remember the response of the father when the prodigal son came home and expected to have to beg to even be the lowest in his house. Remember the love of Jesus when the woman was caught in adultery. As they journey, as they falter and feel disappointment and bitterness in themselves and the world around them, you be the Father who throws open the door and kills the fatted calf when you see them coming. You be the Jesus who sits down beside the woman and offers hope when everyone else wants to throw stones.

You are a starting point for their journey and the way you live your life can be a map to them – but they have to take these steps for themselves. Do you want them to take your word for who He is, or do you want them to know? The truth has nothing to fear from inspection. Therefore, we need not worry when they question Him because He will always prove true. Just because their path may not look the same as yours or take the roads you would prefer, does not mean He is not still guiding them.

We trust His hand when He is holding us in the refiner’s fire.

We should trust no less when He holds our children.



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About the Seeking Scripture Team: We are a group of believers from all walks of the faith, saved by grace alone through faith in our Messiah. While we are of one accord in many things, we are all works in progress and lifelong learners. Therefore the opinions of one may not always represent the opinions of all.

Christy Jordan
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